Adulthood crisis

via Daily Prompt: Panic

To Ria, life has been generous. A normal family with normal friends having normal fun, just like all the teenagers; sneaking out from college, partying, occasional lying to parents, crazy goals of changing the world. This is what young blood is about, to have world revolve around them at their will.

To this cheerful girl, sadness was when her crush dated some hawt girl she didn’t like or to not be able to fit in size 2 dress. Typical teenage girl problems. She knew there was more to just being in a comfortable environment, she had her eyes on being an accomplished writer. And for this, she had to leave her little hometown of loved people and enter the world of independent living. To live life with responsibility, earn for herself, maintain budget, spend for herself without asking parents and live by herself in her own apartment.

All she had to do was get admission in NYU.  New York city, the home of many accomplished writers. She imagined to have a group of cool friends just like the popular show “Friends”, to have a lifestyle like Carrie Bradshaw, successful writer, string of relationships and a dramatic life. To wake up everyday with a zeal.

Alas! Her idyllic thoughts ruptured into reality. Adult life was more than just partying around. Earning is not as easy as drinking a cup of coffee in Starbucks and have articles published in the New York Times. Friends are not about catering to her drama 24 * 7. Adulthood is about laughing with people while paying debts to the newly bought car. It is about crying alone in night and socializing with people in day and to keep darkest secrets of insecurity with one-self and provide kindness to the tough world. To be lonely by night and provide assistance to the orphans.

Ria has learnt this with difficulty.She has hit a point in life where panic of reality consumed her. She has finally seen the unpolished shine beneath the glittering world. This time, it was her love that got married to some other lucky girl. To fight stress and be unattached to materialistic things mattered more than fitting in to size 2 dress. To live independent meant to be on guard with the consequences of her actions. She had to earn to feed herself and exist in a loop of responsibilities from which she cannot escape.

Ria had learned the sarcastic humor, where being honest about her feelings with a smile was accepted as humor, but to have it expressed with a frustration tone meant bitter and cold. She lay down in central park  listening to footsteps of people scudding around her.  She watched the white clouds passing by and the blue sky turning black.


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